Brains over Blood

You might think this is the year of the vampire, but zombies should not be underestimated.

They’ve been around for a while now, but have been getting bigger and better in the entertainment world lately. Sure, they might not be falling into bed with women like True Blood’s Bill or swooning after high school girls like in Twilight and The Vampire Diaries, but they are pretty cool supernatural beings that are often given a good outlook on life.

Most recently, we had the film Zombieland with Woody Harrelson and Jesse Eisenberg, which gave zombies the ability to run as fast as they can, but they’re still guilty of feasting on bodies, making them not-very-good company.

Unlike vampires, zombies are never good. They aren’t handsome or devastatingly beautiful and most people would rather eat their own arm than actually date one. I have nothing against vampires, but I’m really glad that not all zombies in entertainment have turned, how do you say, ‘sparkly’ in nature.

However, some zombies have been known to fall in love. The book Breathers by S.G. Browne is all about a man, Andy Warner, who comes back to ‘life’ as a zombie and must try to live a life unlike the one he knew before. Things begin to look up for him when he meets fellow zombies and they tread this new way of living together. Breathers is described by the author as a rom-zom-com (or romantic zombie comedy). This is definitely a new look at zombies, as society has grown accustomed to killing machines, but who says you can’t re-imagine something besides vampires? As long as they aren’t suddenly named Edward Cullen, then it should be okay.

Cincinnatian Ryan Mecum actually wrote a book of haikus called Zombie Haiku, with an assortment of gory pictures to enhance the tales. His Web site even boasts some lovely haikus from other writers, such as author Christopher Moore and comedian Michael Ian Black. Don’t worry though; if you’d still rather stick to vampires, he has Vampire Haiku too.

On the music side of things, the band Karate High School released a new album this year titled Invaders featuring a song all about the undead creatures, ‘Zombies Everywhere.’ This take is more about the human beings we see on a daily basis. What could this mean? Flesh-eating monsters are working with us, going to our school, perhaps even teaching classes? No, not quite (except for maybe teaching classes). They use one of the other definitions in regards to this song: ‘a person who is or appears to be lifeless, apathetic, or totally lacking in independent judgment.” ‘ As you can see, ‘Zombies Everywhere’ is more about the people who live similarly to actual zombies, going through life with no particular goals besides automatic self-fulfillment. Though this isn’t about the Hollywood version of zombies, it’s still a good song and would be perfect on a soundtrack for Zombieland or something similar.

Finally, we have a great song by Jonathan Coulton titled ‘Re: Your Brains,’ which is about a group of zombies who want to eat their coworkers brains. With lyrics like ‘All we wanna do is eat your brains/ We’re not unreasonable/I mean no ones gonna eat your eyes’ this is a perfect zombie anthem for whatever means you are getting your brain eating entertainment from. Just remember, as long as zombies continue to be a threat to humans, we can be happy knowing we won’t be getting a Twilight version of them. After all, who really wants to read Edward Cullen and Bella Swan Die: Then Come Back and Eat Animal Brains Only? Frankly, I think it’s too long of a title.