The Fix

We all know native Kentuckians like to throw ‘dem eggs. Umm, wait. That’s just Kentucky-born actor George Clooney, who recently installed an egg-throwing machine at his mansion on Italy’s Lake Como, Star Magazine reports. Clooney contributed to the “hatching” of the machine, which throws raw eggs at people who cross an infrared sensor in front of his 15-bedroom Villa Oleandra. “He’s thrilled with it,” a source said. “And he told his Italian staff to give him daily updates on what happens to the worst of offenders!” So can anybody tell me the best way to get egg yolk out of cashmere? What? I was just trying figure to out what kind of fertilizer he uses. Geez.

Former “Friends” star Matthew Perry had a senile moment recently when he was on his way to a hosting gig for the Lili Claire Foundation fund-raiser, which benefits children with special needs, Star Magazine reports. Perry apparently showed up to the wrong hotel, and told the audience the story when he made it to the right place: “For the last eight years, the event has taken place at the Beverly Hilton down the street,” Perry said. “I got to the Beverly Hilton and was ushered backstage to rehearse. I started rehearsing and became aware that I was in the wrong place when I realized I was reading words in celebration of the American Indian.” Those hotel people must have been like “Shh! Nobody tell him he’s at the wrong fundraiser!” ‘Cause c’mon. They had to have known.

Quotes of the week:

“Don’t ask me that question. You want to ask somebody who’s been married twice and divorced twice?” – Janet Jackson’s response to a query for marriage advice. (US Weekly)

“It’s sad how people