ALLEGED SHOPLIFTER REALLY NEEDED TO GO
A Cape Coral, Fla., woman arrested for shoplifting said that, because she had to use the restroom, she couldn’t wait in line, the Pioneer Press reported April 16. She claimed that her irritable bowel syndrome forced her to move on through.
THE PHANTOM MENACE STRIKES AGAIN
Thieves in Fremont, Calif., who made off with a safe full of Star Wars action figures, apparently didn’t ensure it was secure, the Oakland Tribune reported April 21. The safe seemingly fell off the back of a truck, scattering almost 70 collectible figurines all over the road.
CHICAGO-STYLE MOZZARELLA PIZZA REDUX
A semitruck carrying mozzarella cheese wrecked on the Chicago Skyway, spilling a lot of cheese across the road and shutting it down Sunday Morning, an ABC affiliate reported April 22. No injuries occurred, but emergency worker closed off the road while they cleaned up the cheese.
ANTI-BUS AD TO APPEAR ON BUS
An advertisement degrading public transportation will appear on one of its targets – a city bus, the Grand Rapids Press reported April 21. The ad depicts public transport as a pig spewing pollution. It is in response to a proposed tax hike for the bus company, which would cost a $100,000 homeowner about $56 per year.
MAN PAYS ULTIMATE ALIMONY
A Vancouver, British Columbia man will have to pay his ex-wife half his $10 million lottery winnings, the Casino City Times reported April 18. Even though he was separated from her at the time, the judge ruled that he must give her half to pay for family expenses.