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The Northerner

The fix

Regan Coomer

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Nick Lachey has a dark side – and it’s dirty. The former Mr. Simpson-turned-ESPN-announcer told Elle Magazine in an interview that he is a phone sex connoisseur: “I haven’t even realized my full dirty-talk potential,” Lachey said. He even went on to explain that he used to put on his ex’s shoes and walk around in them. That begs two questions: Just how big are ex-wife Jessica Simpson’s feet, or how small are Nick’s? Despite how juicy the image of Nick walking around in Jessica’s shoes it, there is reason to believe Nick is not referring to her. An Elle representative confirms that the “ex” mentioned in the interview is someone other than Jessica, as the interview took place before Simpson filed for a divorce.

Prince Harry of England, third in line to the throne, gets to one-up his bro Prince William at Sandhurst, the Royal Military Academy, People magazine reported. William recently became a cadet at the academy, as his brother holds a higher ranking. Representatives from Sandhurst say William won’t have to worry about being specially treated. He’ll have his hair buzz-cut, and he’ll be scrubbing latrine floors – not to mention being expected to salute younger brother Harry, who will be of senior rank. Major General Andrew Ritchie of Sandhurst told People magazine that Harry would be well within his rights to “get his brother to salute him.”

Two issues ago, we reported actor Lindsay Lohan’s admittance to Vanity Fair that she had suffered from bulimia last year. People magazine reported that Miss Lohan, however, has had a change of heart and recently wrote an open letter to the press denying the claims of the magazine, calling them, “Lies.” As for her mother Dina Lohan, she also denies the claims, stating, “Words were twisted. Lindsay is very honest.” A representative of Vanity Fair, despite the Lohans’ hoopla, said, “We stand by our story.” The rep added that the interview with Lohan was tape-recorded.

Quotes of the week:

“Aliens came down here in peace to show us a new level of creativity, and it worked man.” -R. Kelly on the true purpose of aliens.

“You call it morning, I call it after hours. I haven’t been to sleep since 1988, anyway.”

– former Van Halen frontman David Lee Roth on why he’s a good replacement for Howard Stern.

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The Independent Student Newspaper of Northern Kentucky University.
The fix