There is something that has been on my mind and until now I was afraid to talk about it. I was afraid of the stigma attached to voicing an opinion. I had become a brain-dead, mindless robot afraid to rock the boat. I lived in fear of the politically correct crowd chastising me from here to eternity. I am not afraid anymore. Get ready to take notes cause here I go. We need tougher restrictions on obtaining a driver’s license. If you have driven lately, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
There is no way half the people on the road passed a driving test. We need harsher penalties for violations. I’m talking about courtesy violations like driving in the left lane continuously without passing. Kentucky state law states that it is illegal to remain in the left lane without passing. I was thinking we should bring back the stockades as punishment. I know it would be humiliating to the person and that’s the point. The American Civil Liberties Union would be appalled at the mere suggestion. But it might work! People who are so self-absorbed that they’re oblivious to everyone on the road need a little humility.
The roads would be safer and easier to navigate, and road rage would be severely curtailed. I know you think I went over the deep end. Maybe my travel time has taken its toll on me and affected my judgment. How many times have you been late for school because some driver has the passing lane blocked? They’re just cruising along at 40 miles an hour with no place to go, unaware that automobiles have a rear-view mirror. If they took a quick glance every 10 minutes they could learn a lesson. The two miles of traffic piling up behind them is not because they won the popularity contest and everyone wants to follow them. They cause many accidents and yet they’re oblivious to the whole situation. They even have the nerve to question the driving skills of the people that pass them.
These scoff-laws must be stopped. We must share the roads and not allow such contemptuous violations to occur. We must take a stand. The sanity and safety of a whole generation of drivers depend on it. The stockade would be the perfect tool to teach them to be courteous of other drivers.
The Kentucky State Drivers Manual states that the right lane is for slower traffic and the left lane is for passing. This is not a difficult concept; it is not rocket science and yet people cannot comprehend it. It is a privilege to drive, not a right. If we cannot place them in a stockade, how about suspending their license for 30 days. Taking the bus will teach them a lesson and will accommodate their already slow pace. Perhaps we can make them wear signs that indicate they are selfish and not considerate of others. They would probably be oblivious of the sign and continue to wander aimlessly to their destination.
While I’m in my pulpit let’s talk about cutting in front of a truck and slowing down. Do I need to mention that these trucks can weigh up to 40 tons? Unless you’re trying to commit suicide by being crushed, I would refrain from such a stupid human trick. MTV’s “Jackass” has been cancelled and is not coming back. You might however be the highlight of the evening news. Merge means to blend in with existing traffic. Never enter a highway at 40 miles per hour when traffic is doing 55 miles per hour. Variations in speed are the cause of accidents. Yield means to give the right a way to existing traffic. They do not have to stop or slow down for you, you must enter only when it is clear.
By now most people have figured out I am only being facetious. However, I am serious when I state that people who drive without being aware of other drivers are arrogant. The roads are for everyone, not just you. If you are driving slowly stay to the right and allow traffic to pass you on the left. But it would be cool to bring back the use of the stockade or people wearing signs for not being considerate of others. Well, maybe someday.