I will be the first to admit I’m bad in bed. So if you’re like me, or you’re too pompous to accept your incompetence, you must read Paul Joannides’ “Guide to Getting It On.”

This guide goes beyond your high school sex-ed class taught by the football coach.

Heading the 740 pages of sex literature is the definitive nature of sex, relationships, one-night stands and the simple “importance of getting naked.”

This then leads to a thorough (and I do mean thorough) examination of Anatomy 201-the good stuff.

Diagrams and sketched pictures lend enticing, and often humorous, visuals to heighten the reader’s experience.

With an assuage-like connotation, Joannides covers everything from the underestimated art of French kissing to spontaneous quickies should a road trip become monotonously long.

From giving a massage to fingering a keyboard for cyber sex, the g-spot to oral, strap-ons to hand jobs, the topics in this guide captivate every self-fulfilling prophecy even Ron Jeremy hasn’t tried.

The book is formatted using personal expertise, questions from readers and newspaper column stylizations. Mock advertisements for sex related issues create added commentary.

Throughout the chapters are testimonials from people who share all perspectives of foreplay, intercourse, preferences and the notorious spit-swallow rivalry.

Welcoming sexbians from every walk of life, Joannides delves into infinite realms of possibility and imagination while making friendly reminders that, while we like to feel powerful in the sack, some things physically aren’t encouraged.

Should you decide that you, too, deserve a good time between the sheets or back seat of some random car, I highly advise you pick up “Guide to Getting It On,” and join me in heading the revolution of better sex.

Your future partners will thank you.