Fashion police can put guns away

The following editorial appeared in The Kansas City Star on Sunday, Sept. 12, 2004:

When it comes to fashion, you have to love that swinging pendulum.

Who knows when it finally went too far. Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction” at the Super Bowl show, perhaps.

One too many shots of Britney Spears prancing around in strippers’ garb.

Or maybe it was all those flabby midriffs flowing over low-cut jeans.

In any case, fashion connoisseurs have drawn a curtain on front cleavage, rear cleavage, bellies and underwear that isn’t under anything. Show’s over, folks.

Coming soon to stores are knee-length skirts, suit jackets, ponchos and higher-cut jeans.

The fashion magazine Bazaar pictured low-slung jeans and a midriff-baring top in its August issue and warned: “Don’t even try to fit into these for fall.”

One problem has been that too many people wore those items even when they didn’t fit into them.

Still seeing a lot of skin?

Be patient.

Real fashion takes a while to catch up with runway fashion, and the Midwest tends to follow the coasts. Besides, we’re probably not done with all of this year’s hot days yet.

But all signs bode well for weary parents and teachers, who have worked overtime as fashion police the last few years.

Teenagers, always quick to spot a trend, are pulling on tops with sleeves and moving toward more preppy styles.

With any luck, thong sightings may soon be just a bad memory.

No doubt the pendulum will continue to swing. But let’s hope for a long, slow sweep in the direction of the covered torso.