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The Northerner

Black Belt TV? Give me a break

Elias Hajjar

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Squash TV; the Fencing Network; the Surfing Channel. Why not?

While reading my lasted Sports Illustrated as I do every morning during breakfast, I stumbled across a column titled “Must-Not-See TV” by Rick Reilly (The Life of Reilly).

The column introduces us to five new sports cable channels-Black Belt TV, Football Network, the Ice Channel, the Tennis Channel, and College Sports Television that will debut within the next few months.

After reading the article, I couldn’t help but wonder “WHAT NEXT?”

I mean seriously, all these reality shows that are out or coming out are bad enough, who wants to watch karate 24 hours-a-day, seven days-a-week? I’m sure someone does.

Personally, I can handle the Football Network, the Tennis Channel and maybe the College Sports Television, but Black Belt TV? Give me a break. I might be able to handle those other networks, but I really don’t see the need for them.

When the National Football League season ends, two months pass without any football. What are we going to watch on the Football Network in those two months? I’m sure the network will think of something exciting.

So what is next? Why not Squash TV? Why not the Fencing Network? Why not the Surfing Channel? I’m sure there are people out there interested in the game of squash. I know people enjoy fencing, but watch it on TV? What about surfing? It would be pretty cool to see some surfer dude wipeout on a killer wave. Totally!

I know some more good future channels: the Ping Pong Network, Badminton Channel or better yet Curling TV.

Nothing would be better than watching extraordinary athletes chasing a giant puck on ice with broomsticks. OK, maybe Curling TV coincides with the Ice Channel, we’ll have to wait and see.

Don’t get me wrong, I think the idea of new cable networks is a good thing. It would create job opportunities in our slumping economy, and give us something else to watch besides “Hot or Not.” I just think we should create networks that have a good chance of lasting.

The Golf Channel is the perfect example. Golf is a sport that can be played year round, in some places at least, so it always has something interesting (to golfers) to show.

Also, the Golf Channel gives us a drug free way to combat insomnia. I don’t know about you, but whenever i’m having trouble falling asleep, I just turn on the channel and i’m out.

So get ready to see a new wave of cable channels next time you channel surf, but don’t be surprised if you see them disappear quickly.

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Black Belt TV? Give me a break