Collateral Damage
Running time: 115 min. Rated: R

Collateral Damage” made me want to quit being a movie reviewer. If not for the fact I was reviewing this film for the paper I would have walked out.
Plot: Gordon Brewer (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is an Los Angeles firefighter. Gordon’s family dies from a failed assassination attempt by a Colombian terrorist named “The Wolf” (Cliff Curtis). He wants revenge because the government is doing nothing so what does he do? Why he goes to Columbia, does the impossible and finds “The Wolf.” He does this without even picking up a single gun. After almost killing the Wolf he is captured and the United States finally gets its act together and goes into save him. But oh no, the Wolf isn’t there and he is in the US planning to blow up a building. What now? Why they all fly to the US to stop him.
From there, a lame plot twist occurs and then a very predictable conclusion.
This is the first film I’ve gone to review that was free. I was invited to attend a special screening thanks to the University of Cincinnati. (I wish Northern would do something like this.) I believe the UC crowd’s reaction summed up my opinion of this film. During every semi-dramatized scene people kept laughing. I also laughed. The dramatic moments lacked any buildup and were so poorly scripted that they were quite laughable.
This film could not decide if it wanted to be a drama or an action film. Instead, I would file this film under the genre of “Bland.” “Bland,” a special genre created for films so bad, that to put them any other genre would hurt the reputation of films already there. A genre created to help you not waste eight bucks on a bad movie.
Here is the break down. The Plot was bad. The Script was bad. The acting for the most part was also bad but due to the first two factors, is it any wonder?
You do not care for any of these characters no matter how many kids Arnold hugs. In fact, Arnold hugs more kids in this film than he kills people. For a wanna-be action flick that’s a big no-no.
The only saving grace this film had was John Leguizama as a Colombian drug maker. How does he make his boring overly scripted dialogue humorous? But of course this could not last for long, as he is quickly shot. Perhaps if we had Leguizama’s comic relief longer than five minutes I would have enjoyed this film.
I pray Terminator III will come quickly so I can start to heal the wound inflicted by “Collateral Damage.”

1 peanut out of 5 (I’m being too kind)

By Josh Flowers
Staff Writer