The Independent Student Newspaper of Northern Kentucky University.

The Northerner

Many students claim ninjas scare them

James Proffitt

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Northern Kentucky University students have recently been expressing great fears concerning our campus. Many feel that it is only a matter of time before NKU will be attacked by angry ninjas who are bent on destroying the entire campus, and possibly those in it. This paranoia has come to be known as “ninja fear.”

Senior Business Management major Nick McIver says he lives in fear of ninja attacks. “(I fear them) all the time,” he said. “Ever since they took Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles off the air, the foot soldiers on the show have been very angry.”

Drew Taylor, senior, accounting major also says he lives in constant fear of a ninja attack.

“Don’t we have anything to stop them?” Taylor asked. “I’ve been in fear for the last four years.”

Junior Music major Heidi Westerman claimed she had not yet heard the rumors, but is now worried that something could happen.

“I hadn’t really thought about it before, but now I’m afraid,” Westerman said.

Brad Treas, a senior business management major is another student that has expressed “ninja fear.”.

“Yes, I’m afraid, but only on Tuesdays.”

Other students have expressed some worry, but claim their “ninja fear” is under control.

“I fear them everyday of my life, but I could take them if I had to,” said junior math major Ben Harwood.

Sophomore Theater major Cat Noland said her fear depends on what kind of ninja would be doing the attacking.

“Some ninjas I’m scared of, and some I’m not,” Noland said. “Plus, I’m not so much afraid of them taking over as I am of them just attacking me.”

Other students have claimed “ninja fear” on this campus is ridiculous, and that they don’t have any themselves.

Sophomore Tommy Jewell, history major was asked if he feared ninjas invading NKU. “No,” he replied, “because history shows that ninjas usually attack high schools or below. They don’t usually come after college campuses.”

Freshmen Dallis Bolton, undecided, agrees that there is no reason to be afraid. “The only thing scary on this campus is that reject James Proffitt,” Bolton said.

Senior business management major Mark Simpson said, “Samuris died off, what, about 1700 years ago? Why should we be afraid?”

For more information on the possibility of ninjas attacking our campus, go to www.secretsocietyofninjasplanningtoattackNKU.com.

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The Independent Student Newspaper of Northern Kentucky University.
Many students claim ninjas scare them