I am 22 years old and have never been kissed.
Drew Barrymore understands.
I have lived my life with just me, myself and I– having an abundance of time to get to know myself and hone in on my quirks, my strengths, my weaknesses.
It’s not just that I have never been kissed. I’ve also never had a boyfriend, never been on a date and have yet to legitimately hold hands with a boy.
Some may say I’m pathetic.
But in reality, I know there are people out there still like me. We’re rare, but we’re there.
Like a unicorn. Or a Bermuda Triangle. We are mysterious, unseen, even a little bit weird.
But, as Feb. 14 approaches, I cringe.
For Groupon has reminded me time and time again how single I am. No need for Valentine’s reservations for two. You’ll find me catching Pretty In Pink by myself. Per usual.
John Hughes has spoiled me with the ideal romances. Boy meets girl, boy falls in love. Girl creeps on boy from a far, boy whisks her off her feet. I’ve dreamed of the day that a cute boy will pick me up in his red sports car and help celebrate my birthday. But no, not me.
I have no Jake Ryan.
In reality, I don’t go around wallowing in self pity for this. I do not pine after men. I have learned to channel my energy and time into other aspects of life. By working on improving myself, earning an education, working to start a career, I have learned to evolve and become more independent.
I wanted to be a part of something bigger than myself while at school. I wanted to help provide service to the community, engage with the student body and get involved in anyway that I could. It took me some time, but I learned to tear down the walls that I had worked so hard to tediously build over the years. Through sisterhood in my sorority, various leadership positions among campus and turning to my family for love and support, I was able to overcome the tragedy that is a life of singleness. I say that with some humor, as well as with some truth.
All that being said, I still wouldn’t mind a guy to grab coffee with or go check out local concerts with.
Maybe my sarcasm is what makes guys think that I am not interested. Or maybe it’s that when I crush on someone I decide to treat them like I despise them.
This is me being vulnerable. One of the hardest things I imagine a person can do.
Here I am, a college gal with a lot of passion and pride. And I am telling you, that while yes, I get lonely, I also am a very happy person. Because while I’d love to find someone to love, through working hard the past four years, I’ve fallen for something you can’t find in any John Hughes film.
I’ve fallen in love with myself. My work. My drive (and not like actually driving, because I don’t do that. Oops). I’ve fallen head over heels for the written word. For poetry. For coffee. For late nights. I’ve fallen for style. For intelligence. Because, as Rory Gilmore would say, “reading is sexy.”
Find something that you love. Whether it be an idea, a hobby or a significant other. And learn to appreciate it, and yourself. And have a happy Valentine’s Day, Single’s Awareness Day or Happy Friday– whatever you prefer to call it. Regardless, here’s to peace, good vibes and most importantly some self love.